Mourning Walk

Dear Lee,

I am going on the Mourning Walk sponsored by Regina Palliative Care Inc. on April 22. Its only 4 km and its meant to be a fund raiser. BUT I don't have a lot of energy to put into attracting funds from people. I did however invite people to come and walk with me and remember you! Then maybe we can go out for lunch afterwards.


Four weeks ago tonight you died. It is so hard to believe. So much has happened since then and time has flown by for me. I cannot believe its been 4 weeks! How can it be? When will I GET IT? I just heard tonight about what appears to be a sudden death- and its someone you know. I at least got to spend some time with you and we said our goodbyes. I so appreciate that gift.

I have read that the process of dying can be compared to the process of giving birth. We can come up with elaborate specific plans and cross our fingers but then the body does what it does and we have to accept what is happening. When we give birth we can say "I will not take any pain medication."  Then we change our minds. We can hope for a painless death, a quick death but can we control it ?

I am so grateful that you were clear with your wishes. I think you got everything you wanted except for maybe a short service! One of the best gifts we gave each other was to speak about our beliefs, our desires, our hopes and dreams. We certainly made  the best of the time we did have together. Thank you.