Little Things - Big Impact

Little Things…big impact

March 26- spent some time in the garage going through STUFF and I sorted out cloth and plastic grocery bags. In several were scraps of paper- Lee had written grocery lists…. Bananas, milk, bread…

And yesterday I washed my face in our sink as I always do first thing in the morning.  And there beside the sink is Lee’s upper back molar plate in an orange dish. Guess we don’t need that.

Using “I” and “we”- Lee and I were careful about the royal WE word. In conversations that word got thrown around a lot when WE talked about projects.  Often this resulted in the realization that I did most of the physical work and I had a fan club. Now I get to make decisions all on my own and I have mixed feelings about that.  The day I discovered the trees knocked down on our fence line- at first I thought I would have to get out there and do the repairs. Then I re thought and called the RM and asked them to do it. But the decision was mine alone to make. The weight of that is now sinking in.

Of course I always have my support group and many people who have offered help. I accepted help from neighbor Dan Dennis replacing battery clamps on the old green truck. I gave up the thoughts “I can do everything myself” and accepted his help as in the end, I know it feels good to help.

Also in the garage I found the last food containers Lee used. Needless to say I chucked them out. I even found a hardboiled egg. Must have been there since mid to early February.

I am approaching all this STUFF in short bursts. I get past the feeling of being overwhelmed by not believing I need to do this in 1 go. I am running across stuff that I have never seen before. Old family photo albums with pictures from the late 1800’s I am sure many unlabelled. Hopefully Louise and Lynda will make decisions about them. They really mean nothing to me. The heart tug is that I know they were meaningful to Lee. Where does the line get drawn? I have a small stash of stuff I have labeled sentimental. I will go through it someday. I have boxes of books to go to the hospital reading room for chaplain students. Lee wanted her things used. So if I can’t use them they need to go to people who will appreciate and use them.