My first ride after Your passing March 29, 2012
Well I knew this day would come and today was the day. I caught Jet and Claire caught Fancy. We brushed much of the winter hair out and we got mouthfuls ourselves. Claire prefers bareback and sock feet (the boots I offered to her were a size too big). Off we went on very fresh horses through our quarter to the south and into the next quarter. Great ride. No tears Just the joy of riding. I know that riding demands the rider to be in the here and now for safety reasons alone. It’s really important to FEEL the horse and interpret constantly. Focusing on relaxation will send signals to the horse that tells him I know what I am doing. I surprised Claire by squeezing Jet into a canter so of course Fancy picked up on the increase in energy and off she went too.
One of my big fears in my imagination has been “Will I ever find the joy of riding again without you?” I did feel joy today and I suspect it was from the here and now being present requirement. I had no time to think of sadness or feel sorry for myself. I needed to have a successful first spring ride on an energized horse. When I accomplished this successfully I felt joy. It was as simple as that.
I have had moments lately where I think that I would love to tell you something. I expect when riding there will be many moments that I wish I could share with you. Perhaps it will just be in another form.
You told me something several days before you died. You said you did not know much about the possibilities of an afterlife but if there is one, will you stay open to receiving a message from me? It will likely come when I am riding. I remain open to receiving and believe the key to that is to stay present.
I plan to continue doing that. I plan to remain present on Saturday during the celebration of your life.
I just accomplished the first hurdle. Yeh!
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