Another knife

Dear Lee,

Found another knife today. So that must make about 13 you had. It was in one of your many jackets that you had stuffed into a crack early last winter in the porch. Supposedly to keep the drafts out? Well I cleaned up the porch today and pulled the jacket down to find a sparrows nest behind it and another jack knife in one of your pockets.Another pull on the heart strings. I am still looking to find something that smells of you. I am sorry I was so up to date on our laundry.

Louise and Lynda came for a visit today. That was VERY nice. I surprised them with some plans on paper for re doing the kitchen. New cabinets- a complete change. Will be a good project for me and great entertainment for the seniors.Its been on our list of things to do but it never made it to the top. I think its time now. Will be a good investment. We always talked about money and projects together. We agreed that anything over $100 we needed to talk to each other first. That worked well.

I so miss talking to you. I told Louise and Lynda today that I thought I'd gotten over the worst but now I don't know. For quite a while I simply could not believe you had died. Even though there was significant evidence that you DID die. Then I came around to beleiving it. Then I don't know what happened- I am back to not beleiving it. I don't know what to make of this. I settled the land titles change yesterday when I got the official death certificate from Vital Statistics. Cost me a grand total of $12.50. That was a tough moment opening the envelope and seeing that offical looking paper like a certificate.

I want to go to the Bereavement center and meet some people there and talk about this. I suppose its all normal. I'd like to talk to you about it! You dealt with this all the time with other people. In the meatime what works best is being in the here and now.

G night babe- we ALWAYS made a point of saying good night to each other. I miss that too