Hey Lee! I 'm home!
And you're not here in person so I can tell you all about my trip. I have talked to several friends and family members but its not the same as talking to you. Oh do I ever miss that. That hollow space is so hard to describe. I had a great time on my own. I didn't get lost even though I forgot the GPS in my van in Winnipeg. I was both driver and navigator where you and I used to take turns. I found an incredible leather shop where you would have wanted to spend all day. I know you would have enjoyed the lobster and seafood chowder. It was the weirdest feeling enjoying myself then becoming aware I had no one to share the moment with other than strangers if inclined.
I had conversations with many people and remarks were often made about me travelling alone. Some appeared surprised. On occasion I would tell people my partner died in March and I am taking a break. On the return flight a man commented on my Aussie riding jacket and I said I probably smell like a horse as I had ridden the day before on a beach north of Cheticamp. He remarked he had just been in Cheticamp to attend his mother's funeral. Its a small world at times like this. The I told him about my loss. We had mourning in common. And we both teared up and understood the pain of loss.
How do I learn to live without that now? I miss the sharing. I used to surprise you often with little things like heart notes in your bags you took to work. I'd flip ahead in your day timer and randomly place I love you notes. It was both a surprise to you to find them and a surprise to me when you told me about the find as I had long forgotten I had placed notes several months ago. You were so naive about so many things. I could arrange all sorts of surprises right under your nose and you'd never catch on! This is such a big loss for me- the sharing. I am unsure how to deal with it now that I have acknowldged it. Perhaps this is the start.
I enjoy sharing and always have so will continue to do that with friends and family.
But I sure do miss the sharing with you
Love you babe
No comments:
Post a Comment