I have been using Lee's spot on the bed for all my bed time reading materials. Western Horseman magazines and my grief books. Tonight I am putting the grief books on the book shelf across the room. If I want one again I will get up and get it. In the meantime I am going to read about horses and see how that goes.
The latest big fear I have is that if I quit thinking about Lee my memory may fail me and I will forget her. At the church on the day of Lee's service I feared I would have a panic attack yet when I stayed in the moment I did not. I am guessing if I continue to stay in the moment I will keep memories alive when I want to retrieve them. I have lots of cues, letters and cards I could read that have her words. Perhaps that is the answer. I need to give myself a break.
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