May 19, 2012 May long Weekend

Lee and I would spend long weekends at home so we were able to give staff that time off. We would split our time between farm chores and senior sitting. We would plan to get quite a bit done so the rest of the 2 day weekends could be devoted to riding. Now a new normal is in the works.

Gardening is a joy for me especially when I get it set up so the work is manageable. I have resurrected the drip irrigation system I made years ago and this will help with watering. I won't be watering the alley ways and that means weeds will not be encouraged to grow. AND that also means less roto tilling. We should be able to sit and watch it grow. Mary and Iris will share the joy and work so this is good.

I have been consciously making things easy on myself with no long list of things to do, allowing more time to do things, not getting my shirt in a knot about anything. I like to putter and do odd jobs. Today I took my seniors on a car ride to the beach where I picked up a few plumbing supplies. I am so glad I have the skills I do because it would be so much more challenging to do anything around here without them.

Last night I printed off my entire blog and put the pages in plastic sleeves in a binder. I will take it with me when I go to the bereavement centre so I can refer to the time lines. I am sure reading over the diary will trigger  emotions.Although we led our lives with no regrets I do have regrets when I think about it. Same thing with anger. I always believed when I felt anger brewing in me I knew there was something beneath it and I searched that out. Yet when I think about it I could make an 'angry' list. Wednesday's session will be interesting.

I am so looking forward to regular counselling sessions. I know they will be work and it could be a roller coaster but I am game. I really appreciate being able to talk to someone and not have to be concerned about them as their job would be to listen to me. There is a set amount of time and its devoted to me and I know I will benefit from the experience. When friends call and check in with me sometimes it is not convenient for me to have a deep conversation with meaning.  The counselling sessions will be good.....