December 2 - my 63rd Birthday

On November 27 I flew to Vancouver for a couple of days with Kathy in the big city where I had a chance to re connect with Patricia Sereno. I wanted Kathy to meet her so we met at the Sylvia Hotel for breakfast. Patricia was instrumental in directing me to remain myself, breathe, listen more than talk and simply be in the moment as I went to meet Kathy for the first time. We had a delightful time.


I also got to meet with Kathy's youngest son Jeff and her brother Alan and his wife. Later on the island I met elder son Matthew and his girl friend for dinner.  I think I passed the tests! Of course the family is sad that Kathy is pulling up stakes but assurances were given that communication and connections would remain constant and strong. After all, in my words "B.C. is a nice place to visit". On several occasions I met many of Kathy's friends over lunch and coffee and heard their combination of excitement for Kathy and sadness for themselves. And of course I got to meet Kathy's dogs and cats who did their best in all the commotion of a new person in the house plus moving boxes, clean up and upheaval.

My birthday started off with an announcement from Kathy "We are going riding!"

crossing a deep creek with boots and stirrups raised up high

The sun came out and it was a delightful experience led by guide Cec from Saskatchewan. I thought the name of his farm "Tiger Lily" to be rather an odd B.C. name! This would have been enough but no- there was more. A short ride to Tigh Na mara where we had a massage followed by another announcement 'We are spending the night here." Well, a lovely log apartment with jacuzzi tub, fireplace looking out into the forest through patio doors.



lovely place to stay

 I kept thinking all of this could have stopped after the horse back ride but more kept on happening. What a day!

Lee and Judy were certainly a part of this visit. They came up on a daily basis and at the oddest times. For instance in going into a store to buy supplies for the renos Kathy would say "If I were with Judy....."  and vice versa. In the end both Kathy and I are 'get in there and get out asap" sort of people. At her home we discovered how to work in the kitchen together, how to take care of own selves and how to share. Lots of stories came up about relating to our former partners and we both said often how blessed we are to have had the opportunities we did with our former loves. Some moments were very emotional. Others were filled with laughter. I have simply become more open more in the moment more appreciative of EVERYTHING as a result of Lee dying. Still so hard to believe..............

The whole trip was an in the moment experience for me. Instead of anticipating sadness at leaving I did my best to to just enjoy the time together. Next trip? Kathy comes to Saskatchewan for 2 weeks in January.