Dear Lee,
My how time flies by....I have not taken to writing in this blog since April. My writing in the past has been purely emotional driven and therapeutic. What does this mean? I have simply been absorbed in living my life as fully as possible with Kathy Carter who........ get this! became MY WIFE July 6 this past summer.
But let me back track a bit. I had ambitious plans to finish the building project before riding season. Well, its October and I can safely say we are 90% done. It is quite lovely and feels really great. And we have been riding a lot....
We had a very late spring and mid May still held onto snow in the trees on northern valley slopes. Leaves didn't pop out until late May whereas in past years the aspens showed their 'first green' around your birthday April 3.
This is Thanksgiving weekend and one of your favorite times of the year. Last year we had friends and family here to support me in burying your ashes with Jazz out at the entry to this yard. This year Kathy and I will have a turkey dinner with our 5 senior women and I'll bake some pumpkin pies made from the pumpkins grown in our garden.
The rawness of your loss has lessened so much so that I can have conversations about you anytime anywhere and not tear up. Time does heal wounds. It helps a lot that Kathy is a widow too. Both of us can talk at any time about our past sweethearts and it is always OK. I imagine if I were with a non widow she would likely say "Get over it! Enough already with the tears!!" Not with Kathy. She understands and empathizes. As Martha Stewart would say...it's a good thing.
The loss of you was a huge wake up call for me. I made a clear decision to love fully and completely with wild abandon. The decision to get married came to us because we both had great relationships and we both wanted more.
So I will not likely write regularly anymore as I don't have a personal need for the cathartic experience of writing for personal therapy. Part of me feels sad about this but the rest of me.....well it is another gauge for how far I have come from the experience of loosing you.
I am well and doing just fine.....................
